Writing a one sentence pitch

I’d like to think I’ve gotten good at writing a synopsis, not that it doesn’t take me several drafts and advice from my wonderful critique partners. What I find tricky is coming up with a one sentence pitch that explains the premise of my book in a way that makes people say I have to read that book.

I always begin with this basic formula rolling through my thoughts:

My novel is about ________ who must ________ in order to ________.

The idea is to get to the who, what and why of a story.

I was recently cleaning out my desk and came across an article by Gayle C. Krause in a 2008 copy of the SCBWI Bulletin on this very subject. Gayle had some great advice.  She even included a few examples of well known books. Since examples always help kick start my thought process, I’m going to include Gayle’s below: 

• Harry Potter: Sorcerer’s Stone – An orphan boy is schooled in the art of wizardry.
• Charlotte’s Webb – The story of one pig’s struggle to stay alive, and the spider who helps him.
• Magyk – The seventh son of the seventh son in a wizard family finds his true calling.
• The Golden Compass – Children living in parallel worlds deal with sorcery and shape-shifters.

She makes it look so easy. I wish I had remember her article sooner because just reading the examples helps make the daunting job of summing a novel up in one sentence that much easier.

If you’re still having problems, try writing your synopsis first. (See my blog post on Writing a 1-page synopsis for tips.)  Having your synopsis written will help you cut through the emotional plot and sub plots to get to the main conflict. Once you have the synopsis, try writing the one sentence pitch again.

When you have a pitch you’re happy with, share your synopsis with your critique group or trusted readers and ask them to summarize your book from what they have read. Compare your pitch with their responses. Are they close? If so, you have a great pitch for your book.

Here’s my one sentence pitch for Embrace:

A teen girl discovers unseen forces and needs to embrace these forces to save her friends.

That one sentence took me a long time to come up with and I had some help from my editor. My first pitch was really two or three sentences combined with commas and semi-colons. It was cumbersome. Now when someone asks what my book is about I can tell them quickly and concisely.

Do you have any tips that helped you write your pitch?

Get a free critique on your mini synopsis...

Submissions now closed. 

A big thank you to everyone who participated.

Because this offer had a positive response, I'll post a similar offer in the future.

I thought it would be fun to do something to help fellow writers. I know how important it is to have a query letter that is well written and intriguing, something that will make your letter or email standout in a crowded inbox. I’m offering you the opportunity to get a free critique on your mini-synopsis.

What is a mini-synopsis? It’s the blurb in a query that summarizes your story in less than 200-words.

What’s the catch?

1. Your submission is limited to 200-words. This mini-synopsis is for the query letter and should be a concise summary of your story.
2. I would really appreciate it if you’d help me spread the word about this offer and about my blog.
3. This is a limited time offer. Submissions will be open for three days or to the first ten people to respond, whichever comes first.

How can you participate?

1. Send an email to [removed]    Check back for future offers.
2. Put the words “Query blurb” in the subject line of your email.
3. Include in the body of your email the title of your book, targeted audience, genre, and the mini-synopsis.

Your submission should look something like this:

     Title: The Chocolate Made Them Do It

     Audience: Young adults

     Genre: Romance

          Jessica swears it’s not her fault the entire football team now hangs on her every word or that Mike, 

     the hottest guy in school, won’t stop calling her. She used to be just another fourteen-year-old trying to 

     survive freshman year. That all ended when she shared a box of chocolate peanut clusters that she swiped 

     from the top shelf of her grandmother’s pantry…

     (My example is a little rough. I had chocolate on my mind when I wrote it.)

Before you reply, here is a little more information about me:

Q.  Who am I?

A.  I’m a fellow writer who would like to help others make their publishing dreams come true. I started writing about seven years ago. I’ve attended writing conferences and I’ve taken different courses to help improve my craft. My debut novel, Embrace, will be out this winter.

Q.  What can I offer you?

A.  A fresh set of eyes, for one. I can also let you know if something in your mini-synopsis is unclear.

Q.  Am I guaranteeing my comments will get your query letter out of the slush pile?

A.  I wish I could make a promise like that, but my response would be my opinion and you are free to take it or leave it as you see fit.

Q.  Then why bother?

A.  You only get one chance to impress an agent or an editor. Having a writer who is unfamiliar with your story review your mini-synopsis will help you to know if it’s ready for its targeted audience. Besides, what do you have to lose?

Q.  Should I be the only person who reads your mini-synopsis before you send your query?

A.  Definitely not. I believe in having several people critique my synopsis before I consider it done and I think you should do the same.

Your mini-synopsis will remain private as long as you submit to the email address above. At no time will I repost it on my blog or website. Responses will be sent directly to the submitter.

Now what are you waiting for?

Writing a 1-page synopsis

You spent months writing your novel and even more time revising and polishing it. The characters in your book have become your friends and some even enemies you love to hate. You’re ready to send your precious work out to agents or editors. Congratulation, because this is further than many people ever get.

So how do you get your query to stand out in the slush pile? You draft a well written query letter and a compelling synopsis. For this post, I’m going to focus on writing the synopsis. It’s something that I always dread because let’s face it, summing up thousands of words into one page and doing it in a way that makes a book sound fresh and exciting is hard. Hopefully, the steps below will make the task a little less scary and maybe even fun.

Your synopsis should be about the main plot. If you are writing an adventure novel that has an emotional plot mixed in, your synopsis should be the adventure plotline. Don’t include the subplots.

A few tips before we get started:

-          Use present tense.

-          Write the synopsis in third-person.

-          Lead off with a strong hook sentence.

-          The first time you introduce a character, type their name in CAPS.

-          Use powerful verbs and avoid adverbs and adjectives.

-          Always tell the entire story.

For this formula, you are going to write 5-paragraphs. Since you are aiming for a 1-page synopsis, these paragraphs need to be brief, one to three sentences each.

The first paragraph includes your hook. Identify the who, what, and why of the plot. For instance: A boy goes to wizard-school where he makes friends, learns magic, discovers that an evil wizard wants to kill him, and has that first encounter with the wizard. (Yep, I went to Harry Potter for my example. Not just because it’s one of my favorite series, but because I haven’t met a person who hasn’t heard of the books or movies.)

Next, divide your novel into three acts. Each act will get a paragraph.

Finally, write the conclusion.

               

            The breakdown of the 5-paragraphs is as follows:

-          1^st paragraph is the premise and should include your hook.

-          2^nd paragraph is Act 1

-          3^rd paragraph is Act 2

-          4^th paragraph is Act 3

-          5^th paragraph is the resolution. Yes, that means you are telling the ending. No surprises!

Because you are very close to your story, I highly recommend that you have your critique groups read your synopsis before you send it to an agent or editor.  

Format your synopsis much like you do a manuscript.

Your Name                                                                                                                Genre

Street Address

City, State, ZIP code

Phone number

e-mail address

TITLE

by

Your name

                Start the text of your synopsis…

  

Remember to always check an agent’s or publisher’s website before sending material. Some have very specific guidelines they want followed.

Good luck!

For writers

My journey, from idea to publication

Writing a one sentence pitch
Writing a one page synopsis
Writing for a middle grade audience
Writing for a young adult audience
Marketing Your Book On-line
Planning a virtual book launch party
Kick start an idea
                                         Picking Your Next Writing Project
                                         Be inspired
                                                      9-Ways to Conquer Writer's Block
                                         The Shitty First Draft 
                                                      Prologues - keep or cut
                                         Writers' Group Etiquette 

SCBWI Summer Conference 2011
     What editors and agents at the 40th SCBWI Summer Conference want to see

     Highlights from the first day
     Highlights from days two and three

SCBWI Summer Conference 2012
      Highlights and quotes