I'm delighted to welcome Shirley Goldberg to my blog. Her newest book, REVAMPED, is part of an exciting new series and it's on sale this month for .99 cents. So without further ado, I'm turning over this post to Shirley!
Cherie asked me how I came to write Revamped.
Revamped is my first paranormal romance and my first participation in a multi-author series. What a great experience writing a book with six other authors by my side, metaphorically speaking.
We were all on Zoom, gathered around our computer screens discussing writing and marketing, when someone popped the question. “Why don’t we write a series together.” It took almost a year in the making, but here we are, three weeks away from the release of the first romance, Selkie, by Sydney Winward. An important note: Sydney did our beautiful covers.
Thank you so much, Cherie Colyer, for inviting me and my characters to your lovely blog. As a special treat, I interviewed Dante Allegretti, my main character in Revamped, part of the Mortar & Pestle series. All books in the series are standalone.
Dialogue with the Vampire
Shirley: I have a few questions for our readers. They’re curious.
Dante: I suppose they want to know about my special powers.
Shirley: Not really. They want to know what it’s like to date a vampire.
Dante: [eyes widen] I don’t talk about being a vampire. Not openly.
Shirley: The thing is, I wrote a whole book about you so it’s no secret, not anymore. For instance, one reader would like to know if you would suck on her neck. You know, take a little taste.
Dante: That’s ridiculous. First of all, I’m not that kind of vampire. I’m an energy vampire. Meaning I get energy from people by depleting their resources. Bored people are especially easy targets, but angry men run a close second.
Shirley: Men in particular? Why is that?
Dante: Their negative energy and muscle mass make them vulnerable.
Shirley: Do you still drain people’s energy?
Dante: I’ve stopped living that life. I attend DE meetings––that stands for Dis-Energy––two or three times a week. It’s not easy, but my energy sobriety is important.
Shirley: Anyone who dated you would have to respect the work that went into your lifestyle change.
Dante: I don’t want to be thought of as a vampire. I’m a normal guy with issues like anyone else. With a few differences.
Shirley: So it’s a daily challenge, right?
Dante: Absolutely. I don’t hang around with other vampires. Very few people know I’m a vampire, only a few close friends.
Shirley: Are you still at odds with your family?
Dante: I don’t think that will ever be resolved. [Swipes a hand through his hair.] You want to know something?
Shirley: Of course.
Dante: Energy vampires don’t have much fun. You can’t hang out with regular people. It’s too tempting and how can you look yourself in the face if you’re draining your friends.
Shirley: That sounds gross, using your friends.
Dante. Yeah, that’s why I never had friends. Until I met Groucho, my best friend. But I knew the second I met him he was a vampire.
Shirley: What is it, a sixth sense?
Dante: Sort of. When it comes to friends, you’re limited to the few energy vampires around and no one wants friends who literally suck. That’s why I rejected the whole lifestyle. I’m over thirty and I’ve just begun living. I feel so lucky.
Shirley: So, what advice do you have for women interested in dating vampires?
Dante: Don’t do it.
Shirley: Sort of a dead end, isn’t it?
Dante: Unless you’re with a man who promises to give up that way of life.
Shirley: Can you tell me more? What was the most difficult part of changing?
Dante: I’ll tell you that every little and big thing in my life changed. If I told you more, I’d be spoiling the read and besides, telling is boring.
Shirley: Well, thanks, Dante. Do you know if Groucho will be in the sequel?
Dante: Since you’re writing the books, you’ll have to answer that one, won’t you?
About the Book
Revamped
A Vampire Comedy
Part of the Mortar & Pestle series of 7 book by 7 authors
by Shirley Goldberg
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Releases March 21
Pages: 255 pages
Heat rating: moderate
An energy vampire hungry for love meets the wisecracking woman of his parents’ nightmares.
Blurb
Vampire Dante Allegretti hates his sucky life. Born into a family of energy siphoners, he’s desperate to reinvent himself as a fun-loving normal guy rather than a crowdsourcing parasite. To stop the draining urges, Dante resorts to grinding alternative meds in an ancient Mortar & Pestle, not knowing it contains magical properties.
Enter wisecracking thirty-year-old Sophie Arley, who lives with her clingy parents. Working three jobs and craving independence, she’s come back strong after a breakdown crashed her cozy world. So when the weird, hot guy she just met-cute asks Sophie to the movies, she agrees.
Sophie won’t spoil their magical connection by mentioning her heartbreak. And Dante dreads telling Sophie about his dark side. Will the power from the Mortar & Pestle guide them to their happily ever after despite the secrets and lies?
Dante invited Sophie to his house for dinner, never dreaming she’d interfere in his personal business. Let’s eavesdrop on their conversation.
“You need to take your meds.” Sophie squeezed her hands in front of her chest. “The peanut butter, where is it?”
I backed up and reached into the cabinet. “This stuff is worse than my meds,” I said, holding up the offending jar.
She took it from me and read the label. “This is my favorite kind. I drain off most of the oil before I use it. Simple. Who needs it on their thighs, you know?”
Drain. I shivered. “What do you do with the oil?”
“Um, put it in a jar. And you can give Jack a little every day with his food. Dogs need oil in their diet.”
Sophie swiveled between me and the mortar and pestle. “Can you put a dose of your meds in the bowl?”
I got out the bag with my herbs and measured out a portion, dropped it in the bowl. Next, I opened the peanut butter, careful to hold it away from my nose, and poured the oil into a plastic takeout container I’d saved.
How was I going to choke down my meds in front of Sophie? Was it normal for your guest to force you to take your medication? Maybe the wine hadn’t mellowed her enough.
“Where’s the utensil drawer?” Sophie twirled around the kitchen and opened a drawer. “Empty.” She poked me with a finger. “I need a knife.”
I went over to the sink and rinsed a knife, dried it and handed it to her.
“Thanks.” She dipped it in the peanut butter and stirred, careful not to splash oil on the countertop. Everything she did was deliberate. I reminded myself Sophie was being kind and concerned. And also pushy.
“It would be better to put your herbs on that delicious bread.” She opened the plastic bag with the bread, ripped off a piece, and spread the peanut butter on it. “Now dip it in the herbs.” She handed me the bread. “Try it.”
“I don’t know.” I was pissed at Dona, the herbalist. It had taken me almost an hour to reduce the herbs and powders. Pulverizing wasn’t easy and the tiny grains were dry and hard as metal shards.
“You said it was vile.” She grabbed another morsel of bread and spread peanut butter on that one, put it on a napkin. “Come on, it’s got to be better with the PB.”
We stood side by side staring into the bowl, me holding the bread aloft, Sophie fussing with the necklace she always wore, twirling the stone in her fingers. She studied the contents of the bowl. “That’s about a tablespoon? I’m dying to taste it. Just a dab. It’s organic, so it can’t hurt me, can it?”
I was so startled by the request, I grunted and put a hand over the top of the bowl. “You’d better not. It was specially mixed for me.”
“Vile tastes like what exactly? Move your hand.” She elbowed me, a gentle push.
“No.” The bowl felt warm to my palm. Or was I imagining this? We both stared as a wisp of vapor stirred, almost invisible, and took flight, leaving behind an aroma like peeled oranges. The polar opposite of vile.
Sophie leaned closer and stared up at me. “Did you see that?”
The vapor rose again and I traced its path, pointing. “We’re not imagining this.”
She stood on tiptoes, stretching her frame and wobbling against me, her cheek brushing my shoulder. Her breathing slowed. “Dante?”
I turned toward her and put the bread on the napkin, steadied her with my hand at her waist. “Sophie,” I murmured. My chest shuddered with wanting to kiss her, needing to feel her body against mine.
She spun the bowl around and the tip of her index finger quick-dabbed the mixture. She stuck her finger in her mouth. “Oh.”
My loins spasmed involuntarily.
Her tongue came out and swiped her bottom lip. Unruffled and unashamed of her trickery, she gazed up at me.
I gazed down at her, my mouth twitching. “You brat. How could you––”
“For you, this mixture must be like cilantro.”
“What?”
“Some people can’t eat cilantro because it tastes nasty to them. This has a gingery zing, for me anyway.” She balanced on her toes and went for my cheek, her kiss landing on the corner of my mouth and sending tingles down my back. I wanted more.
“Try some with the peanut butter.” Her voice playful. “Don’t you want to see if the PB makes a difference?” Her voice lowered, now sweet and cajoling. “Come on, your turn.” She handed me the napkin with the two pieces of peanut-buttered bread. “Your correct dose, sir.”
I gripped her around the waist. “Stay close. I need your emotional support.” Sure, I’d play this game if I could keep her at my side.
I dipped the bread into the mixture and chewed, waiting for the aftertaste.
“Well?”
It melted on my tongue. “Not bad, not bad at all.”
We leaned into one another, her arms around my neck, her head resting on my chest. I put a hand under her chin, tilted her head up to mine and kissed the side of her raspberry mouth.
Something had happened. Had it been magic or a fabrication of my mind?
“Again,” she whispered. “More kiss-kiss.”
I pecked her chin and worked my way slowly up to her mouth, sucking her bottom lip. “You saw it, didn’t you? The vapor.” Her skin was smooth and soft, and she smelled like a flower.
“The smoke? I thought it was smoke.”
Our kissing deepened and for a minute I forgot myself, forgot I had to be careful, very careful. My friend Groucho had warned me. Be aware. You’ve got to train yourself not to drain, and that takes absolute control.
I pulled back and kissed her on the cheek, not wanting to stop.
“You’re a great kisser,” she said, opening her eyes and nudging me with her shoulder. “Can we smoochy-smoochy again? Soon?”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I sighed deep inside.
Shirley Goldberg is a swing and salsa dancer, novelist, and former ESL and French teacher who’s lived in Paris, Crete, and Casablanca. She often writes about men and women of a certain age starting over. Her websithttp://midagedating.comoffers a humorous look at dating in mid-life, and her friends like to guess which stories are true. A Little Bit of Lust is her third book in the series Starting Over, although all her books are standalone, including Revamped, her new Vampire Comedy. It’s the story of an energy vampire with one good friend and a family who embarrasses him. Revamped is part of the Mortar & Pestle series by seven authors coming in March. Grab the Prequel for free. https://dl.bookfunnel.com/3vhm7opc1r
Shirley’s characters believe you should never leave home without your sense of humor and she agrees.
Shirley’s characters believe you should never leave home without your sense of humor and she agrees.
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